- Respondent ID
1.1. Age: 54
1.2. Sex: M
1.3. Country of residence: Romania
1.4. Respondent moved abroad: 11 years ago
1.5. Number of children: 2
1.6. Age of younger child: 10
1.7. Age of elder child: 19
- Respondent’s life in Romania and the reason of his departure.
I: How was your life in Romania before leaving abroad?
* Did you have a job? How was it?
R: I had a normal life. I worked in one of the big companies in my town, its name was “Romcarbon”, but I also had a dream to travel and get to know Europe, as I had graduated from the faculty of Geography I: Tourism. I found a company in Sibiu, called “Atlassib”, which offered me such an opportunity. I was content with my job. I was working as an electrician, it was the qualification I had got after high school; I worked for that company for twenty-four years.
* How did you manage with money?
R: We had the bare essential, but couldn‘t afford more. It wasn‘t about shortages, but we had to calculate everything. My income became much better after “Atlassib” hired me. First I worked as a travel agent, then I became a member of “Atlassib ” management.
* How was the atmosphere at home?
R: It was a normal one. My daughter was eight when I left (He laughs). I remember my departure. She remained very sad, crying. She went with me to the taxi. I took her in my arms, I hugged her, I told her I would bring a nice present for her and she understood for the moment. However, for a while she was still sad, even if we talked daily with them over the phone, to ease her longing and my absence.
I: Where do your children live now and with whom?
R: With the whole family now, after eleven years.
I: Who did mainly look after the children before you left away?
R: Both me and my wife looked after them. We both worked were raising our kids together…
I: Did you play with your kids?
R: I did, mainly with my daughter. We played, took her out for a walk or to the park for playing. I used to accompany her to and back from the kindergarten. I worked from 7.00 a.m. to 3.00 p.m., therefore I could take her to and back from the nursery. We were very close.
I: How had you been getting along with your neighbors before you left away?
R: Very well. I live in a block of apartments and our relationships remained the same. I haven’t had arguments or discussions with nobody around.
I: What about the authorities?
R: I haven’t had any problems or conflicts. I haven’t had any traffic tickets either.
I: How did your little daughter get along with the other children living in the same block and around and with your neighbors?
R: There were a few children… I enrolled my daughter at the nursery school when she was very little. I left away when she was in the second grade at school. The school was very close to our block. She loved to study. She had been able to read since she was very little. She was spending her time reading.
I: How did she get along with her teacher?
R: Very well.
I: Therefore, you decided to leave Romania due to your passion for travelling.
R: Yes, but also because I wanted to earn more, why not?
I: Did you also go to other countries to work?
R: I also worked in Belgium, Greece and Italy.
I: When you decided to leave, did you plan to stay abroad for a certain period?
R: No, I didn‘t. My first departure seemed the most difficult to me. I hadn‘t worked abroad before. I had only travelled to Hungary and Turkey, as a tourist, but had never left to work abroad.
I: What did you expect to find there?
R: I expected to work in an office where someone near me would help me when I needed, but eventually… it was good that I could adapt faster to the requirements they had there. My expectations weren‘t fulfilled… It was harder for me. Before I could adapt myself… I left to Spain, to Madrid. Consider just the fact that you have to adapt to the traffic there. Being in charge of the car they gave me, I had to drive… to the company‘s interest in finding as many customers as possible. I had never driven on a highway and the traffic was much busier and heavier. For instance, Madrid has three ring roads.
I: What do you remember about your first day in Spain?
R: I arrived in Madrid towards evening. The company had arranged lodging for me, I went there and then I took over the activity I was supposed to carry out. I ate the food I had carried with me – a few sandwiches. The next day I got to the respective location and nobody asked me anything. (He laughs). I was in an office, I waited. There were some people who spoke both Romanian and Spanish. I didn‘t know Spanish, I only knew some English. I read something, talked over the phone… You see, it was that effect of your being away. The second day I asked “why am I here? What am I supposed to do? “. “Well, we‘ll go to Toledo””. They had a work point there. A guy came up and took me to Toledo. He was a Romanian. He picked me up from Madrid, as I was to work in Toledo. They had rented a new apartment with three or four room for us. I arranged something around there. We went to buy some foods and got ready. I can cook. There was no internet connection when we arrived there. The guy explained to me what I had to do, he handed the lodge and the truck over to me and he left home to Madrid. He asked me:”man, can you handle it? ” “Yes, I can ” . What else could I have done?
- Adaptation to the host country
I: Where did you live after you arrived in Spain?
R: As I said, at the lodging point and then in that apartment in Toledo.
I: How did the locals seem to you?
R: I interacted with them. They looked quite hospitable; for instance, I didn‘t know certain details, where to get to, and I asked and received very detailed explanations from them. The apartment belonged to a Spanish family who let it; they used to visit me, asked about how is my family in Romania, as the season holidays were coming.
I: Did you ever spend holidays Spain? Can you describe them?
R: That‘s the worst, you see. I spent Christmas in Spain. It was very dull Christmas holidays are different in Spain. There‘s not so much joy, fuss and tradition. The city is practically empty, quiet, no smell of met rolls, Christmas cake, (he laughs). I was deeply disappointed. I was in Toledo.
I: the Eve came and what did you do?
R: I left for Madrid. To meet the colleagues who worked there or in the surrounding areas. We had a dinner party there, in the lodging point. My colleagues had organized it, with food, and everything, it was ok, but, as I said, I didn‘t feel that Christmas. Then the New Year came and it was the same. No signs of the New Year coming up. You couldn‘t feel that specific joy…
I: Weren‘t there lots of lights in the city?
R: There were, they install them at the end of November, but they didn‘t have so many traditions and expressions of friendship as in Romania. How shall I put it? I spent the New Year‘s Eve in Madrid (I guess he means Toledo) with a team of drivers. There were four drivers who came to Toledo and we spent the New Year’s Eve together in the apartment. We had a great time. We bought…actually I bought everything necessary, because they only came in the evening, and I made all the preparations, as it was normal.
I: What music did you listen to?
R: Romanian music. A driver had his laptop with him and we listened to Romanian music.
I: Did you dance?
R: No, we didn‘t. They were very nice boys, didn‘t drink too much alcohol. We talked about our work, our families, native places. They liked the way I received them and thanked me a lot. The next day we went for a walk. They left on the second of January.
I: How difficult was it for you to find a job?
R: I had signed an employment contract in Romania. I was driving through places where I had contact with people who had left abroad to earn a living. I worked at a company that ensured passenger transport and money transfer services. I usually met them in the evening when they came out from the bars. They all were very kind, we talked and I presented them the services offered by my company. There were all sorts of people who had left Romania to earn some money, not as tourists.
I: How did they seem to you?
R: They were sad, first of all because they were leaving their homes and families. They had children, parent and problems at home… But they had that satisfaction of earning some extra money and have the necessary things, at least for the moment. In general I met more women than men who had left their homes, because women could find a job more easily. Most of them left because they didn‘t have a financial source. I used to ask them “Why did you leave? ” and all of them answered “My husband is unemployed, my husband drinks, my husband does this and that “. I say “God, all of them have the same problems?”
I: Were there any situations when it was worse than you had expected, something you didn‘t like in that country?
R: I don‘t know, I cannot say I didn‘t like it. But every day I felt I was far away from home. In the evening I was alone in an apartment, while I had been used to a family life.
I: Didn‘t you make friends from among the locals there?
R: Not from among the locals, but from among the Romanians. There were lot of Romanians, I had daily contacts, met them more often, because it was to my company‘s interest. We also met extra, but rarely, because they had their own work programs, they had to rest for the next day… There was something that shocked me, so to speak… I went to have a cup of coffee. I entered the bar, wanted to return because it was very dirty. I said to myself: “are they cleaning up now, what‘s the matter?” and I asked “what‘s the matter” “Nothing. That‘s a Spanish habit, to have as many cigarette ashes as possible and lots of packages thrown around. Because it meant their bar had a great number of customers”. That screwed me up. I had a cup of coffee there, but I remained sort of… it was better in Romania… I went to Madrid, to Real Madrid stadium. I felt like an alien there, as they use to say. I felt I was in a different world.
I: What other places did you visit?
R: Toledo, a very beautiful city, a historical one. There were lots of stores showing and selling swords. I couldn‘t go home to sleep in the evenings. I walked and visited the city and spent my time. In December, when I went there, it snowed for the first time in that region, as I heard from the people. They could hardly believe it. They could see a couple of centimeters of snow cover.
I: What do you like in Romania, the country you live in now?
R: First of all, I like my family best. I also like the place where I was born, where I live now, as well as the people. I mainly like to hear them speaking Romanian, I like the fact that I can greet them in the same language, you can more easily understand with them. Communication is extremely important. To communicate in a free open manner is the most important thing.
- 4. Relationship with family (mainly with the child) and role in the family before leaving abroad
I: Who was taking care of your child?
R: My younger child was born in 200. My wife stayed home until our son was two. It was good for our daughter, too. Then he went to the nursery and a friend used to take him to and from or stayed with him when the nursery was closed. The friend was a cousin of mine. Our son got used to her, they got along very well, she took him out for a walk, gave in to him all the time.
I: Then you were content with the way your kids were looked after?
R: Yes, because there was someone who was taking care of them. The boy was more active, couldn‘t stay and do nothing, he had to play.
I: While you were abroad, did you have the feeling that your kids are doing well?
R: Materially, indeed, they were doing very well, but they missed me, especially the boy, as he was younger. I used to talk to him over the phone almost ten times a day. I couldn‘t use other means of communication, because I didn‘t have the time for that.
I: While you lived there did you send money or brought home money when you came to Romania?
R: My money was transferred into my account here, both in lei and euro. We all had access to it.
I: Did your wife deal with every expense here?
R: Yes, she did. I didn‘t even know about utilities and others.
I: Were you satisfied with the way your money was administered?
R: For a while. That was the reason why I gave up. Our son has grown up and he felt the need to have his father near him as long as possible and to communicate. He even told me: why don‘t you find a job in the country? Like the fathers of my colleagues. I am a lighting man.
I: Do have an extra job?
R: For the moment no, because I‘m taking care of my family.
I: When you came from abroad, did you make them happy with some presents, apart from your presence?
R: Certainly, “it was the happiness of meeting again, returning and… When I first came back home I brought a doll to my daughter. As she grew up, she had other priorities. As for the boy, he always wanted something. I also asked him what he wanted. Last time I brought him a drone. I could have sent something anytime. My company also dealt with the carriage of parcels. In general I brought them personally, to make him feel the joy. If I had been abroad during the season holidays, I would have sent something to my family, toys in general. When my daughter grew up, I tried to take her out and buy her something she would like to have, when I was here.
I: What about the other relatives, parents, parents-in-law, cousins…?
R: I sent them little things, a bottle of whisky, a box of chocolate candies, things which couldn‘t be bought in Romania, to please them.
I: When you left home, did you also leave … with a parcel or something?
R: In general, I used to take only a piece of cheese and one kilo of Pleșcoi sausages with me when I left, because in Spain you could find the same foods as in Romania.
I: Do they have Romanian stores there?
R: Yes. They had everything. Mineral water from Romania. Juices from Romania. Puffs from Romania. The Romanian “Zacuscă” (Hors d‘oeuvre). They have warehouses of Romanian products.
- Internet-based communication
* Technical.
I: You said you were communicating by phone with your folks.
R: Right. Less visually, because I didn‘t have time, I was very busy there, from early morning till night.
I: Did you write?
R: By e-mail, not post. It was more direct over the phone, you felt the person closer. If I had had time, I would’ve tried the other means. We had internet connection, but we weren‘t allowed to use it for personal interest. They said we would distract… But the fact there was nobody to talk to… the output connection was blocked. (He laughs.)
I: Who called usually: you or your family?
R: Either I or they. After the age of two, my son called me almost ten times a day. “Daddy, how are you? Daddy, did you eat? What did you eat? “
I: Were you content after such a phone conversation? (he nods.)
I: Did you ever talk on Skype or…?
R: No, I didn‘t. I couldn‘t.
I: Did you send each other any photos?
R: I was carrying photos of them.
I: However, it‘s obvious you are able to work with computers and internet. When did you learn?
R: I learned while I was abroad, from my colleagues. We discussed. It was a curiosity, especially after the Skype appeared…
I: Were there any situations when you would have needed to get in touch with your folks but you couldn‘t?
R: No, there weren‘t.
*Content
I: How often do you talk? How long?
R: Even ten times a day. I had a continuous communication with my family, we didn‘t talk only when there were special events or urgent news.
I: Apart from “How are you? What did you eat?”, what did you talk about with your family?
R: We talked about the issues that occurred: a child got a cold or look, I did that or “I have to get something to wear. What do you think?” or if my wife wanted to buy something for the house “What do you think? Would it be good?” We advised each other. I would like to change I don’t know in that room… “Yes, go and see how much it is, what it is like…”
I: Can you say you had common activities?
R: Yes, we kept in touch all the time. I knew exactly what was going on, they knew what I was doing…
I: Your daughter went to school…
R: Yes, when I left she was a pupil.
I: Did you talk to her teacher or teachers when you came home?
R: No, I didn‘t. My wife kept contact with school. I only went to one teacher-parent conference when I happened to be in the country.
- Relationship with family after departure (important stages/significant moments):
I: Were there times when you wanted to say something only to your wife, about which your children wouldn’t have to know?
R: Sure and it wasn‘t only once when we had a talk just the two of us. We could communicate. She didn‘t talk from home, but when she left from work and she told me this and that… She could talk from the street, from Buzău.
I: How old were your children when they had their own phone to call you?
R: I think the younger one was two or three years old. He is very talkative. He always finds something to talk about. When I left home they had a regular phone. Until we got cell phones… the boy called from home and I called them, too.
I: Did you also talk on the speaker?
R: Yes, with the family or if they had a guest. It happened many times. I called and my wife said “look, my sister-in-law is here, too”, meaning my sister, or someone from my wife‘s family, colleagues of hers. We spoke openly.
I: What about the others from your extended family?
R: I also talked to my mother, I called my parents-in-law, I have some uncles who have no children and so on, I communicated with them, weekly… In general, I kept contact with all of them.
I: Do you feel you are doing better after that period when you worked abroad?
R: Yes, I do. Our standard of living has increased. It was ok, before, but, of course, the difference is that you can afford more. You can go on holiday, quietly, wherever you want, you can go on a trip, sightseeing. My daughter has bought all the books she wanted, read-for-pleasure books. She reads a lot. Lately she has bought medicine books, to study for the university. She was involved in an action of the Romanian Orthodox Church, an action called the Orthodox Youth, in Iași. She went there for four days, between the first and the fourth of September this year. She had one conference day. She returned with medicine books. “Daddy, please, wait for me, I’ll arrive at one o’clock.” “Why, dear? ” “I’ve got heavy luggage” “What luggage?” “I bought some books.” (he laughs.) I arranged for her to live in a private facility, so that she could study in peace.
- Relationship with the host country environment?
I: Did you know Spanish?
R: No, I didn‘t. I learned a lithe there, in Spain.
I: Did this experience of migration change you in any way?
R: Not much, but very much. If at the time I left I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t know… now I’m prepared for everything. To work anything, anywhere, without fearing I wouldn’t succeed.
I: You have more confidence in yourself.
R: More confidence… I know how to approach all the problems that may occur in your life or at work. In my activity I had contacts with the authorities, ministries, customs offices. These are shaping, changing you. That‘s right. You get more confidence in yourself. You handle more easily any unexpected problem. It was an experience I gained and I don‘t regret. It changed, but also helped me. I’m a different person than I was eleven years ago. The relationship with my family didn‘t change. It was normal. Speaking about these activities… I can say that something changed. You see differently, you know how to speak, to get what you want.
I: What about the desk workers in Romania?
R: I noticed a difference between what you can see here and what you can see there. In Spain you go to a counter, they serve you quickly, they ask what you want, help you if you don‘t know and solve your problem. That’s the only difference between ours and theirs. But I’ve also noticed some changes here. You cannot see then because you are here every day. But there‘s still some openness. It‘s not as much as it should be, but there‘s some.
I: Do you have any friends abroad, whom you kept contact with?
R: Yes, I have some friends I dealt or worked with.
I: Romanians?
R: Romanians.
I: If you turned back in time, would you still leave?
R: yes, I would, because I saw habits, people, I saw Europe and I can appreciate what I‘ve got.
- Plans
I: If you had all the material conditions, would you move to another country with your whole family?
R: No, never, because, first of all, the children miss their native country. I saw children there who hardly adapted and they were more isolated. They were foreigners, anyway. However good they were… it was still visible…, even if they were born there, from Romanian parents. I‘ve never advised and I‘d never advise anyone to leave or settle there. You are a foreigner for them. They are civilized, but you are still a foreigner. You aren‘t home.
I: Does your wife work?
R: She is a nurse at the maternity of the town. I could have found a job for her in Spain, but you must know that it‘s not… it means a rent, utilities to pay… The people are just living, not accumulating. Since the crisis started and the jobs became fewer… now, the women can find jobs like caretakers for the elderly or housekeepers. These are the jobs we are wanted for (he cracks a smile).
I: Would you like to leave again?
R: No, I wouldn‘t like to work abroad again, now that my son is ten years old and he wants to be with us. Well, I‘d like to take my family on holidays or for a trip there.