1. Respondent ID
1. 1. Age. 12
1. 2. Sex. M
1. 3. Parent(s) away: Father
1. 4. Country: Spain.
1. 5. Parent(s) moved abroad: “I don’t know. I only know he’s been working abroad for a long time. Respondent specifies later: for two or three years.”
1. 6. Respondent lives with: His mother
2. Details of Respondent’s life before:
I: Let me see. You were so little that you can’t remember when he left?
R: No, he left recently, about two or three years ago.
I: Had you seen each other every day before she left?
R: Yes, he used to stay home. Now he comes home every three or four months.
I: What did you best like to do together with him?
R: Playing. Usually football, but he had a problem, namely he had a surgery to his spine and… he could no longer play so much… And now he left and I sometimes play with Mom.
I: Always football?
R: Well, no. I find some other game.
I: Do you live in a house or in an apartment?
R: Apartment.
I: But where did you play football, behind your block or on a special ground?
R: We used to go to Crâng Park where there were some grounds and we played there.
I: How often did you play football?
R: Once or twice in two weeks.
I: Did he use to help you with your homework before he left?
R: Yes, he did. Mom, too, when I didn’t know I asked them.
I: When you were little, who accompanied you to nursery, then to school…
R: My mother.
I: Are you now going and coming back alone?
R: Yes, alone, I’ve been doing that since I was in the second or third grade.
I: Do you live close to school?
R: Close to the exit from Buzău. I take a taxi.
I: Who used to keep a closer contact with school, before he left?
R: Both.
3. Details of Respondent’s life after:
I: You said he had left two or three years before.
R: Approximately.
I: Do you remember the first day after your father’s leaving?
R: I remember I cried very much, I missed him. Then I slowly got accustomed with the idea of his being abroad and he would only come home every three or four months. And I got used to that. But I hope he would find a job in Buzău and not leave again.
I: Did you understand why he had to go?
R: Yes, I did. He is a driver. And he had no… he no longer had where to work here in Buzău and went to another country, to work for a company in Sibiu and…
I: Is it Atlassib?
R: I don’t know.
I: Who is looking after you?
R: My mother.
I: Do you also live with other relatives in the same place?
R: No, we don’t.
I: Are you an only child?
R: Yes, I am.
I: Do you get along well with your mother?
R: Yes, I do.
I: Do you have any other relatives in Buzău?
R: Yes, apart from grandparents, we have all of them here.
I: How do you get along with them?
R: Very well. Since I know myself, there hasn’t been any fight.
I: Were there any situations when you had to see a doctor or get in hospital while your father was abroad?
R: I had my leg operated two years ago and he couldn’t arrive. He only came two or three days after the surgery, because it was only then his boss could buy a flight ticket for him.
I: So, were you with your mother?
R: Yes, I was with her. One of my aunts came with us, too.
I: Can you tell me what the matter was with your leg?
R: I had a kind of a bone which had grown out and was visible. I had been feeling it there for a long time, about three or four months. It was growing bigger and bigger… Mom took me to a doctor and then I had the surgery in Bucharest.
I: What about your father? What happened to his back?
R: He had an operation to his back because he used to sit too long, being a driver, and he had some trouble with his backaches and he thought he’d better go and see what it was. The doctor said he needed a surgery and he had it. Better than suffering like that…
I: Do you have any friends or colleagues whose parents are also abroad?
R: Yes, I do.
I: Tell me, are you closer to them than to those whose parents are here?
R: No, I get along well with everybody
I: What do those whose parents are at home about the fact that your father is abroad?
R: they understand the situation… that he couldn’t remain here… and… they say nothing about that.
I: He had a driver job here, didn’t he?
R: Yes.
I: What’s hid job now?
R: He is also a driver, but he feels much better there. He has no trouble at all. He stayed home for about five or six months after he had had the surgery and then… well, he recovered. He felt much better and went back to work.
I: Does he send you any presents?
R: Oh, he does. Not weekly, but monthly. On the one he sends me money, on the other hand he also sends presents to me. And I’m always curious to see what he has sent. And I’m thinking. For instance, last Wednesday I received a present from him and I wondered: “Well, what is it? What is it?” and… (He smiles): But after that I wonder what present he will give me next month. I still wonder what he will give me.
I: What does he send you more often?
R: He usually sends me, besides money…
I: Does he send money to you in particular?
R: Yes, one part for me, just for me to have some pocket money and one part for us to pay the rent and everything and have money until next month, as it were.
I: What was the last present from your father?
R: The last present… he gave me a tablet, because I had had a phone and I lost it. Actually, I didn’t lose it. It’s in my cousin’s car. When he also left, as he is a driver, too, I forgot my phone in his car. My cousin is coming next Tuesday, so I actually have the phone. I mean, it’s ok. It’s in his car. He has it.
I: Is there any particular item you want to have, you hope to get with the money from your father?
R: No.
4. Internet-based communications.
*Technical.
I: Do you have internet at home?
R: Yes, I do.
I: Using what: Smartphone, tablet?
R: I also have a laptop at home, but I’m not so hot on playing and things like that; I usually spend some time on the phone… well, on the tablet. And after maximum two or three hours I get out because I get bored. And then I come back home.
I: And what do you do with your phone?
R: I play games. I mostly play games, lots of games. I even watch You Tube and I seldom stay on Facebook. But I’m not a fan of it…
I: Why?
R: It seems to me that I waste my time.
I: Who pays the subscription?
R: My father pays for it.
I: Had you also have internet access before he left?
R: Yes.
I: Since when?
R: I know the first time we got internet. I was eight or maybe seven years old. We had a computer which was pretty good for that time and I accesses internet on it, but I’ve never been a big fan, actually.
I: Have you ever written any letters by hand?
R: Yes, I have. When I was younger I know I used to write to Santa. Once I sent a letter to Grandma. No, to Grandpa, because he was in hospital, when I had some trouble with one of my arms and I couldn’t go, I was at school, and so on, and I wrote a letter that evening and asked my mother to give the letter to him and she did, because, normally Mom went to see him hospital.
I: Have you ever written a letter to your father?
R: No. You see, we are keeping in touch… I mean, if I don’t talk to him for an hour or maximum two, I don’t know, I feel like…
I: Therefore, you talk very often.
R: Right.
I: Every day? How often?
R: As often as he has the time for that.
I: Do you communicate with your friends and colleagues through internet?
R: Yes, usually, for instance when I want to meet with one of them. I talk with them. That’s all.
I: Through which program?
R: Messenger. It’s like Facebook, I mean there’s a very close connection with Facebook, and I chat with them. I usually ask about homework when I didn’t understand the lesson in class and they help me, they tell me how to do.
I: Do you have a Facebook account?
R: Yes, I do. I log in once in two or three days, maximum.
I: Does your father have a Facebook account?
R: Sure. Mom has also an account, I guess. Yes, she does.
I: How do you prefer to communicate with him?
R: Mostly through phone calls.
I: Only audio or also video calls?
R: Also video. I mean we can see each other, I couldn’t resist without that.
I: Is he who usually calls or you?
R: Both of us.
I: You say you learned to use the internet and the computer when you were seven or eight years old.
R: Yes, approximately, but I wasn’t so keen on it. I’m still not too keen. I don’t actually use it too much. I have it, but I’m not a big fan of it.
I: You don’t like it…
R: It’s not I don’t like it, but I don’t actually…
I: OK. But besides entertainment, do you know you can search and find materials for your homework…
R: Oh, yes, yes.
I: What else can you also do with your computer?
R: I sometimes listen to music… and that’s all.
I: I see. So, you use Messenger on Facebook to talk to your father, don’t you?
R: Yes, I do, and also the phone, of course.
I: Have there been cases where you would have liked to talk to your mother, but you couldn’t?
R: No, I always called when I needed to talk to him and he answered.
I: What if he was driving?
R: (He smiles) He did his best to talk to me.
I: Do you also use emails to communicate with him?
R: No, I don’t.
*Content.
I: You say you and your father talk several times a day, don’t you?
R: Yes.
I: Do you remember your first communication with him after he left abroad?
R: I know I told him I missed him very much. I asked him to come back, not to leave any more and he said he couldn’t because, well, he had no job here. And he said I would get used to that and … I really have got used to his absence… although I miss him, but…
I: Would you like to talk to him more often?
R: No, I feel I do talk, not enough, but I talk whenever I need, when I feel I start longing for him.
I: What do you usually talk about?
R: How we are, what I’ve done at school, what I’ve done since we last talked.
I: When did you last talk?
R: This morning. (it was about 11 a.m.), before I left for school.
I: What did you talk?
R: How I am, if I left for school, he told me to pay attention, not to disturb – I don’t actually disturb classes.
I: Does he ask you what you would like him to send or bring to you?
R: No, it must be a surprise. That is…
I: But do you ask him to bring you something?
R: No, because I know he will buy me something. I mean he knows what I want.
I: What is that?
R: For instance, last time I wanted him to bring me… well, not to bring me, to buy me a skateboard and I did want, but I hadn’t told him, I don’t know how he had found out I wanted it and when he came home… he told me “this is yours”. I hadn’t told Mom either and I even wondered “how did he find out…?” and I still don’t know how.
I: How do you think he found out?
R: I don’t know. If I had told my mother, she would have certainly told him. But I hadn’t.
I: Is your mother also present when you talk to him?
R: Yes, she is, we all have a chat.
I: Do you happen to talk to him when you are alone?
R: When Mom is not in.
I: Are there any things you feel you can only discuss about with your father?
R: No, there aren’t. I don’t mind, I mean… I can talk with both Mom and Dad if I have any problem.
I: Do you get along well with both of them?
R: Yes, I do, even very, very well.
I: Have you ever felt that certain things can only be told face-to-face?
R: Sometimes. When it happened to me to have some trouble, I couldn’t tell him like that, over the phone, and told him when he came home.
I: Such as?
R: I had a problem at school. It was two years ago if I remember well. Some guy was messing me. And I couldn’t tell him, I was sort of ashamed. But I told him eventually and he came to school and talked with that boy. He told him that should never happen again. He said he understood we were kids and we…
I: And he settled the matter, didn’t he?
R: It was settled.
I: Do you show him what you have done at school? Do you tell him about you…? Do you play online?
R: He doesn’t have too much time. But when he was at home we used to play a lot. Usually when he is in his off-duty time we play, but only rarely, when he is in a parking… When he was at home we certainly could find a game: monopoly or backgammon or…
I: Has he ever scolded you on the phone?
R: Yes, he has, a few times, well… I was naughty and he told me it was wrong to do that, that I had to apologize; anyway, I apologized and I do it every time I do something wrong; and told me that shouldn’t happen again, because, well…
I: You say he came to school to talk to that kid. Does he also talk to your teachers?
R: No, Mom does it, mostly. Because when he comes home, he doesn’t usually stay too long. He stays about two weeks and has certain things to do. For instance, last time he went to have some blood tests. The other time he had to have his driving license renewed. Therefore, he doesn’t almost always have so much free time, I mean time for me and…
5. Relationship with the absent parent (important stages/significant moments):
I: You say he comes to the country every two or three months, doesn’t he?
R: Yes, approximately. Or it may be maximum four months.
I: When did he last come home?
R: I think… actually… in middle holidays, something like that…
I: Last summer…
R: Yes.
I: Do you remember what you did together?
R: I remember that I first told him I really wanted to play with him and we went to a playground and played and the next day I remember he took me and Mom and told us we would go to some place, but he didn’t say where. It was a surprise. We went to the mountains like that, without any plan, out of the blue, as it were… and we stayed about two or three days; a mini-mini-holiday, just like that.
I: have you ever been to him there abroad?
R: No, I haven’t. Frankly, I’m afraid of travelling by plane. I always have in mind the idea that “what if it crashed?”
I: Have you ever gone by plane?
R: No, I haven’t.
I: Then why?
R: Frankly, I really don’t want to fly. I’d better go by coach, although it takes less time by plane, but I’m afraid of planes.
I: I’m afraid of injections.
R: So am I.
I: It means you have never been to your father.
R: No, I haven’t. He even proposed several times that we should go to him, but I’m afraid and…
I: What about your mother? Has she ever gone to him?
R: No, she doesn’t actually go anywhere without me.
I: Do you know anything about the place he lives in there?
R: I know he lives in Madrid, in kind of apartment block. There are block of maximum two or three floors in that city and he showed me where and he told me he lived with two colleagues. They share the apartment. It’s a large apartment, he showed it to me, and they also share the rent cost. He showed me what it was like.
I: Where do you know what he works there, from him or from your mother?
R: He told me. Mom also told me. Before leaving, he used to work as a driver here and he took me on the truck many times. I even miss being driven like that, by truck. (He smiles.)
I: But if you were to go by coach, would you go to see him there?
R: Yes, I would. I know it is beautiful there.
I: Would you like to go on holiday or for good?
R: On holiday, I guess. I wouldn’t move from here. I have friends, I have… It would be difficult for me to leave them all.
I: As far as you know, has he left for good?
R: No, he hasn’t.
I: When does he say he would come back for good?
R: He told me he would come back in December or January, as he wanted to buy an apartment. He is saving money until then. And he is doing his best to find a job here and not leave again.
I: Are there any advantages of his leaving, though?
R: Yes and no.
I: Let’s see the advantages first and then the disadvantages.
R: One advantage is that, indeed, there’s much more money. One disadvantage is… that I miss him.
I: But do you feel you more independent, freer?
R: No, I don’t.
I: If you get a poor mark at school or you have a fight with a friend, a relative, do you try to hide these from him?
R: No, I tell him. I tell him it won’t happen again…
I: Are you closer to him or to your mother?
R: Lately I feel I am closer to Mom. Although before, when dad was home, I spent more time with him, but now, that he has left, I actually love Mom more.
I: Have you spent season holidays together?
R: Yes, sure. The Christmas holiday two years ago, for instance. I know I also spent last Christmas with him, as well as the New Year’s Eve. We couldn’t spend Easter together this year, but he was here for Easter last year.
I: How was Easter without him?
R: Frankly, it was nasty. I didn’t enjoy it. I used to knock eggs with him before… sometimes he was the winner, indeed, but other times I won.
I: What else did you use to do on Easter and you missed?
R: We used to visit my grandparents… his parents.
I: Thank you.